Dating a poly couple

13 Jun

Mono/poly pairings aren’t exactly doomed to failure, but the inherent dynamics are much more challenging than relationships in which both parties share similar love-styles.

Not only does everyone love differently, but we all find fulfillment in different ways.

The bad news is that mono/poly relationships are not easy.

Heteronormativity is the society-wide notion that some kinds of love, sex and relationships are better, healthier, and more “normal” than others. Are they prettier, smarter, or more emotionally stable than what I am? Deep down, I feel insecure about the fact that I’m from a working-class family, so I often feel jealous if my partner is interested in someone from an upper-middle-class environment. In times like these, it’s important to remember what makes you great. Sian Ferguson is a Contributing Writer at Everyday Feminism and a queer, polyamorous, South African feminist who is currently studying towards a Bachelor of Arts majoring in English and Anthropology.

It includes the idea that heterosexual, married, monogamous relationships are desirable, and that transactional, non-traditional, queer, unmarried, non-monogamous relationships are unhealthy and abnormal. Sure, that other person might be a better cook or more sociable – but that doesn’t make them a better person. Originally from Cape Town, she now studies at Rhodes University in Grahamstown, where she works as vice-chair of the Gender Action Project.

Online-dating behemoth Ok Cupid is adding a feature tailor-made for polyamorous people.

The new setting, which became available for some beta users in December, allows users who are listed as “seeing someone,” “married,” or “in an open relationship” on the platform to link their profiles and search for other people to join their relationship. A screenshot of the new feature obtained by The move comes in response to a rapid uptick in the number of Ok Cupid users interested in non-monogamous relationships.